Tough Decision

Let me start by saying I love teaching. I always knew I was meant to be a teacher and I always knew I was meant to share my passion for the arts, especially theatre. I have been a teacher now since January and it has been a rewarding job and an extremely hard job. I actually really like the teenagers I teach...that is why the decision to resign at the end of this semester was so hard to make.

The other thing in life I always knew I was meant to be is a mother. I have been so blessed to be a mother and now am expecting my third baby. I thought, when I started teaching in January, that I could be both a mother and a teacher. It has been a difficult juggling act and I feel as though I have not been able to give fully to neither my family or my students.

There are many factors that went into the decision to leave the school and no longer be a drama teacher. It really came down to a choice: am I going to be a wife and mother and give all of my energy to that or am I going to give all of my energy to teaching? I know there are a lot of women who work and are mothers, but its a challenge for me. I remember watching my own single mother struggle with her desire to stay home and be a mother but forced to work.

I look at my own children and my heart breaks everytime Nathan asks if I have to go to work and then begs me not to. Tonight as I was putting him to bed he asked who was watching him tomorrow. I told him and he looked at me and said "I miss you at home Mommy". In that moment I knew that my place is at home with my small children. I told him that by the time Christmas comes I will be home for good, no more working. He squealed with delight and gave me a huge hug.

It will be difficult to make Brady's salary stretch to cover our needs, but I know with my heart that this is what the Lord wants from me. I am a mother. Perhaps I will be able to teach again one day, but my focus now needs to be on my family.