I want to move. I crave change. I want to fit somewhere. I am that square peg.
I've alwyas struggled with fitting in. I've always been different. I've never had many friends.
I think I am searching for a place where I belong... a neighborhood where I fit in, where I will have friends near me. I want to know what its like to have a meal brought over or a friendly phone call or note on my door from someone who lives close to me. What is it like to have something good happen unexpectedly?
I hear people tell these fantastic stories about all these fantastic things that their fantastic friends or church members do for them. I've never had that. I've never experienced a random act of kindness. I give random acts of kindness but never been a recipient. Maybe I'm searching for a euphoric, idealistic place that will never exist beacuse I'm not good enough to exist in that type of a place.
I don't mean to be such a downer, but my life has been hard. It's been hard my entire life and especially this past year and I'm craving...love...friendship...acceptance...kindness...
I work a lot...my husband works a lot. I'm alone A LOT.
I get so lonely being out here in far south Queen Creek. We are looking for a house closer into town to move to. I know it will propbably not be a complete answer to everything, but I'm praying that I can find that place I'm searching for. Where is that place for people like me...the square pegs?
I know everyone struggles. This is just my pathetic rant on life. :) Its late, I'm tired and it's been a long week.
7 comments:
Hey Lola! I know exactly how you feel. I feel like that all the time. I haven't found a friend like you that brings me goodies late at night "just because" or our awesome talks that we had or our shoulder to cry on when times are tough. I haven't found that and I miss that! You are an AWESOME friend that I long to have back. I wish I was there to comfort you. You are one person that kept me going! I hated it there in Arizona until I met you! Then I didnt want to leave you behind. I think about you all the time and wish that we could hang out again! I need my Lola back! Girl...I hope you find what your looking for. I hope you find those "square peg's" I hope you find someone that will bring you something "just because" I wish the best for you! You have always been there for me and I really appreciate it. YOUR THE BEST! Always remember that! Please call me if you need to chat! My phone number hasn't changed. I love you Lola! You will be in my prayers. I only wish the best for you!
Amen, Lola. I've felt that way for the last year and a half and I don't know how to fix it. If you figure it out let me know. I think you're fantastic.
I love you Lola! And I don't want you to move away! I have been thinking lately that I haven't seen you in a while. We need to go to Barro's or something! Nathan & Jax play good together and we could visit. I know you're super busy, but it would be fun if you could fit me in!
Lola I seriously think we all feel that way at times. I adore you and have to apologize for living so darn close and never getting together. Lets change that ok? I miss you!!!
Lola,
I think we as women all go threw that stage. Since you moved out of the neighborhood Years and years ago... you were pretty much my only friend, I always enjoyed going hanging out with you at your mom's house. (which has not changed a bit) So Someday maybe not today or year from now.. But you'll fit in... Least you have kids and husband that loves you.. more then i can say.
Miss ya Girl.
Sabrina
Sorry to hear things aren't going so well for you! I think we all have times when we feel like that! I go through that often! You are such a neat and loving person and we are all lucky to have you as a friend!
Well, this is just ridiculous! You and I should get together more often. We live, what? 10 minutes away from each other? No reason for you to feel lonely. Call me, email me or something and we can get together. I'd call you, but I killed my phone and lost your numbers... Side note, loved Beauty and the Beast, we had a great time!
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